Wonders shall never end. The Bias Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) announced in its late night news yesterday that an illegal immigrant, Bunmi Forigbebi, has been arrested over the egg and tomatoes missiles he launched at Obasanjo during his recent lecture tour of UK.
It was gathered that Obasanjo on returning to Nigeria phoned the Metropolitan Police Force and launched a serious attack on the poor security of his safety. There was an initial confusion in the Force’s control room as ten officers on duty could not understand a word of Obasanjo because of his thick Owu accent. The first Scottish-born officer who received Obasanjo’s call had to call his colleagues to listen to an African man on the phone.
Then the second, third until the tenth officer. None of them could decipher what Obasanjo was saying due to his angry, muddled outbursts. However, provident intervened when the evening cleaner who happened to be a Nigerian was called to listen to the man on the phone.
“Sir, can I help you sir?………….the cleaner said.
“Are you a Nigerian?”
“Yes sir, I am a Nigerian.”
Obasanjo then explained to the cleaner to tell the Police Officers that he was the former Nigerian President who came to London School of Economics to deliver a lecture on the Congo. They should tell the Police Commissioner of his sadness to be drowned under the weight of both egg and tomatoes missile during his UK’s visit. Also, he complained that the massive breach of security protocol was because he came from Africa.
The cleaner thanked Obasanjo and relayed the message to the anxious police officers who had clustered around their interpreter. Once the message was relayed, the police officers laughed out loud.
They were shocked at the uncouth behaviour of a former leader who was shouting on the phone and accusing them of racism. Since allegation of racism is seen as a serious indictment by the Metropolitan Police, a formal complaint had to be lodged with the Police Commissioner. The Commissioner relayed a message to the Divisional Commander to burrow through the CCTV of the day’s event and hound out the tomatoes missile launcher.
Bunmi Forigbebi was seen in the CCTV shouting, heckling and behaving aggressively. He had a bag with him full of tomatoes bought from a shop in Brixton called Apriltool Store. The next day, Brixton Underground Station was besieged by plain clothes police personnel armed with Bunmi CCTV pictures.
Bored, tired and hungry in their elusive search for Bunmi, they offloaded into the busy Brixton Market and presto, a burly 6ft: 2ins man in baseball cap with canny resemblance to their quarry emerged from the same Apriltool Store clutching the same bag and guess what, full of tomatoes. Bunmi, who came to the UK 7 months on a visitor’s visa was arrested and bundled away.
At the station, Obasanjo’s phone call came through again. “Have you been able to get the man who launched missiles at me”?
“Yes, we got our man, an officer responded, pleased that Obasanjo will be pleased with their effort.”
“You sure you got the right man…….the Commissioner told me that the missile launcher had a bag with April Fool written on it”.
Bunmi held out his bag and on it was written, April Tool. The Police officers were confused. Obasanjo’s manic laughter could be heard through the phone as he kept on saying bloody fools…..April fools………..heheheheheheeeeeeeeeeehaaaahaaaaa!
When the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) was contacted for the accuracy of this story, I was informed that there was no journalistic link between the corporation and the Bias Broadcasting Corporation which broke the news.